Prenancy Test

Today, I'm a little bit tired...
don't know if I'm sick but nothing is in pain, maybe little disappointment,

I've been delayed for 3 months. my husband begun to be excited and dreaming to be a daddy, he always touches my stomach expecting that there is a baby in inside of me, he can't wait and so he decide to buy that pregnancy test in the pharmacy this morning.
at first i said patienly I'm not pregnant, because i don't feel anything. he almost wanted to come with me inside the bathroom today.

This morning when i wake up and realized that he is watching me while asleep. the first words he said "lets buy a pregnancy tester" I'm puzzled and insist that I'm not pregnant or what so ever. To make it short, we got the result at hand but first he hug me, no words just hug me tightly. i feel the expectation and i see his eyes that glow. I take a deep breath and show the result. i am afraid to look at the result, I'm afraid for if it is positive or negative.. but deep inside I'm expecting it to be positive too.. to our sadness it negative... and the tears in his eyes shows and then he hug me again.. so strong, "we have to go the doctor to check you..."he said. I feel like a melting ice, i cant talk since then i feel drain..i don't know how to start talking... i want to cry.. i want to disappear or just go back to my mother, i feel i keep disappointing my husband. i feel I'm not deserving to his love... what should i do??